It’s midday on a sleepy Sunday afternoon in Clapham, and it’s by no means dull. Nightclub ‘The Church’ has swung open its doors to a boisterous crowd, half in fancy dress and the other half barely dressed.
The ambience warms up very quickly, and once the hymn 'Glory, Glory Alleluia' has played, the party officially starts. From 12pm until four, the speakers will now blast with the beats of indie, rock and disco music.Revellers redeem themselves from sins with beer and all sort of booze, while others sweat it out on the dance floor.
A booze carnival
At a glance The Church looks like a carnival, coloured by people in fancy dress.
A chap in a Smurf outfit toasts his mate who can barely make it through the crowd, in his giant cow costume. Ladies are dressed as Greek statues, schoolgirls and policewoman. The coolest outfit wins free entrance, and providing the seven-pound entry fee, it’s a bargain.
The Church attracts many patrons. There are people from Australia, New Zealand and South Africa, but increasingly, British and Irish gather here for drinks, to watch ‘cute chicks’, and view the female stripper performances. And once a month, much of delight to the female audience a stripper comes onstage to do the Full Monty.
Funny afternoon
There is always an extravagant show of some kind, and ‘The Regurgitator’ Stevie Starr is top of the list. His performances include: swallowing a light bulb, a pool ball, a closed padlock - with its key - and a two live goldfishes. Stunningly, he brings every item back –one by one- safe and sound.
If you’re lucky, you may see the wacky ‘Ratman’ whose show sees him playing with 12 rats on his face. Simba, from Liverpool is also a habitué of The Church, and can be seen walking on broken glass.The venue for this peculiar church is The Grand, located 50 yards from the Clapham Junction Overground Station, and one that it is utterly recommended for those who want to end the week with a sense of free spirit.
Nearest tube: Clapham Junction Underground
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